Buble’s Fragile Masculinity

An Open Letter, By Anthony Zinno

Dear Mr. Buble,

Let me first start out with this: You have a fantastic voice, and many good songs. Your Christmas album is one of my favorites. That being said, I must say I am incredibly disappointed with your rendition of the Christmas Classic “Santa Baby.” Before we go into that though, here is some background about the song by itself.

“Santa Baby” was written in 1953 by Joan Javitts and Philip Springer, and recorded by Eartha Kitt. The song is sung from the point of view of a woman who is vying for Santa’s affection. She hopes that Santa will bring multiple expensive gifts (including an engagement ring!) and flirts endlessly with St. Nick, from the obvious lyric “Santa Cutie” to the more subtle “Come and trim my Christmas tree.” It is a truly classic song that can be heard quite regularly playing on local Christmas music stations.

So when you covered the song in 2011, it was bound to be good! How could you mess up a such a classic song with your smooth baritone? Apparently, you could! You, in an effort to preserve his own fragile masculinity, changed the lyrics to “Santa Baby”. switched multiple “Santa baby” parts with “Santa buddy” and “Santa pally”. You also changed lyrics in multiple other places, such as “slip a Rolex under the tree, for me. I’ve been an awful good guy” instead of “slip a sable.” These are just a couple of the multiple instances in the song where you changed lyrics.

Some of you may be thinking: “So what if Michael Buble changed the lyrics?” and I would say to you this: what you have done is take a classic, cheesy Christmas song, but done it with a twist, to protect his own fragile masculinity. Changing lyrics to a classic song, especially one that is not your own, is a shame. I have nothing against people covering songs. I do, however, take offense when artists change lyrics for incredibly boring reasons. Your cover, in my opinion would have been much funnier if a male was singing this sultry, seductive song to St. Nick. Instead, we got a you, grown man singing to his “pally”, asking for stereotypically masculine gifts. Below are links to both the OG Eartha Kitt version, and the off-brand Buble version.

Link to the “Santa Baby” by Eartha Kitt


Link to The blantantly heterosexual “Santa Baby”, by Michael Buble


Anthony Zinno, Staff Writer

Senior Anthony Zinno is a staff writer for the 2018-2019 Colonel. He is an avid member of the music and drama programs at LHS. Outside of school, he could be found watching “The Flash” or going on hikes.

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