Big Bad Bird Moments

Welcome to a new segment called Big Bad Bird Moments, where we talk about stupid and evil birds with Ledyard High students and staff. As the first entry of this trilling series, I will be indulging you in my own story.

Zaden Allaire really hates turkeys. As food, they are possibly the best meat, but as an animal, they are just bad. Allaire stated, “ Turkeys are just very mean, I just plain don’t like them.” There is a very large family of turkeys in the forest near Allaire’s home—one father among four wives and at least eighteen kids. Allaire has named the father Kenny, and Kenny is actually very docile. 

Whenever their family wanders onto Allaire’s yard, as long as Kenny leads it, it is a peaceful journey. Kenny can keep his kids and hens together enough to leave Allaire’s three cats and elderly dog alone. When the cats are out he gets a little defensive, but Kenny and the old dog, Charles, are quite friendly with one another. 

On the other hand, the smallest and youngest cat, Weasley, doesn’t fear the birds. He was born and found in the wild, and he never left it. He usually doesn’t want to go outside, unless there are turkeys outside. His viciousness toward the much larger birds can sometimes drive them away like a sheepdog. On one fateful and wet day, the birds’ training without Kenny strode into the driveway and started lurking around. 

Kenny usually isn’t with his family on the family walks, so it mostly falls on his wives to lead these treks around the grounds. The wives are very aggressive toward all of Allaire’s pets, even Charles. On many occasions, Charles wandered over to them expecting a friendly visit, only to be ganged up on by multiple hens and even their children. Before this became a prominent problem, the cats usually wanted to go outside on their own. Although, now they aren’t allowed out on their own without human supervision.

The smaller cat was observing their movement from above, through the living room window. The only other thing that caught Weasley’s eyes is the front door opening. The junior in high school had recently arrived home from school and peered out the window looking at them sternly. 

“I don’t like those turkeys, they eat the hasta plants in my garden,” he stated in his inner monologue as he wrote this article. Allaire usually doesn’t walk the youngest cat, as the cat has a game to run away from him whenever he comes near. Although they both didn’t like the turkeys, he grabbed his coat and opened the front door. 

The young cat bolted out the door and straight at the largest bird, the head hen. This hen, whose name is Karen as of now, puffed out her feathers and backed away. Weasley and Karen stood at a standstill, making almost identical hissing noises at each other. The cat was already surrounded, and Allaire realized how terrible the decision of letting the cat out was. He jogged to the circle, splitting the wave of turkeys like Moses.

As he grabbed the tiny cat, the large bird lunged for the animal in his arms. Before even realizing it, he had smacked the bird with his fist. Karen flew back, falling over near a tree. With one flap of her wings, she launched herself out of danger and into the woods. That was the day Allaire learned that turkeys could fly, but only for a moment.

Overall, turkeys are very aggressive and tread on private property.

I am Zaden Allaire and still will be tomorrow, this has been Big Bad Bird Moments.

Zaden Allaire, Staff Writer
Senior Zaden Allaire is a staff writer for the 2022-2023 Colonel Newsmagazine. An avid time waster, Zaden Allaire is very bad at coming up with words to describe himself. He wastes no time wasting time in class and doing all the work last minute with the grace of a bird that hit a closed window. He spends precious time hanging out with his cats or best mates and has a rivalry with his local turkey gang. Never one to leave empty space, drawings litter everything he owns.

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